Kill Me, Heal Me

I just finished watch a korean drama with the title "Kill Me, Heal Me". To be honest, my friends have been bugging me for quite some time to watch this drama but I ignored her since I don't really have the mood to watch another new drama during that time. Plus, I thought that the drama will be boring like all the other drama, you know, the typical type of korean drama, the same plot over and over again and you can even guess the plot and story without watching the drama. But man, I was wrong big time. How i started to watch this drama also because of a funny reason. I asked a friend of mine to help me and in turn, she wanted me to watch the first episode of the drama, only after that she will agree to help me. So I was kinda desperate so yes, I did finally watch it even though I was a day late. So here's what happened.

This drama is actually about a young rich chaebol (rich family's kid in korea are called by this name) who has a disorder called Multiple Disorder Personalities or Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) due to bad childhood experience. He met with a first year psychiatrist resident and she ended up being his secret physician to help him recover from his disorder. There is a lot of twist in the drama (as you can expect in a korean drama) but I like the twist since the twist is mostly related to the cause of the disorder. I find the psychiatry part in the drama really interest me (I'm a medical student, what do you expect :D ). She helps her in secret and even lied to her family about her leaving for John Hopkins University to study a bit more for her residency but she was caught in the end. After some time, it was found that the psychiatrist was actually part of his scar that has made him turn that way. I won't talk much about the story here, if you want to know about the story, please please please I beg you, JUST GO AND WATCH IT ALREADY! You won't regret it. It will make you think more about life, about how scars in our past can really affect us if we don't learn to deal with it. It is indeed a very good story. 

While watching it and after finishing the whole drama, it made me think a lot. This drama succeeded in helping me feeling empathy towards the main character. I can literally imagine and feel his pain and I can even understand his thought and emotion that made him splits his personalities. All of those personalities have different personalities (yes, it might sound weird a personality having personality but just think of those personalities as a real human then you will understand) and there's a different story to which they are created at first. But the one personality that really left me a deep impact is Shin Se Gi. He was created by the main character when he was 7 years old when his childhood friend was abused by his father. Due to the immense pain he bears inside, he created him, a vicious and dangerous person. At first, Shin Se Gi seemed like a very dangerous person, because he will only appear when something bad happened, like in a fighting scene or after seeing something abusive. He will always try to kill someone whenever he's out and that's why he is regarded as the most dangerous personality among all. But towards the end, I found out that he actually was the most broken and sad one. That is why he is acting like that. He was created to protect someone. I don't know if it is right for me to feel sad when one by one, his personalities are leaving him which is actually good for him because it means that he is healing, but because all the personalities are created due to different reasons, and the reasons were all related to his pain and sufferings he's been enduring all his life. I think it's because of this, I feel sad seeing the personalities leaving him because they were made to protect him at one point, to protect him from all the immense pain, the pain that he can't share with anyone, not even with his family. Imagine how much pain a 7 years old child been enduring for him to create so many personalities just to escape from the pain and sufferings. 

For the first time, I can really see the inside life and process of a patient with DID. Even if it's just a drama, even if it's fake, there's still some part of truth to it and they really opened my eyes and make me see things more clearly. They made me remember the reason why I wanna be a doctor in the first place. To the director of that drama and to all those involved in making this drama especially to the actor and actress, this drama becomes better because both of them are really good in acting and successfully bring out the message to all of the viewers out there. For the first time after so long, I'm getting this feeling again. I'm thankful that I have the chance to watch this drama and I think this drama will be the reason on how I decide in the future for my work. Gamsahamnida! Good job to the drama team. Two thumbs up for you :)